Sorrow
by THE Fullmetal DR
Summary: Euphemia was Lelouch's first and only love. Knowing that he never deserved her after all he's done he goes to her shrine and begs for forgiveness and reflects on his past memories with her. All he wanted was to be with her and Nunnally but now he knows he won't be able to have either.


Sorrow

Chapter 1

Euphemia, her name sticks with me. I am kneeling at her shrine. It was built several miles away from the emperors palace where the royal family was buried. Suzacu visited regularly. When I arrived their were some dead flowers that couldn't be identified. He must have felt unworthy to visit after the battle where we both had to shed blood. It has been a week since I had defeated Schneizel. Deciding that this might be one of my only chances to say goodbye I decided to visit her grave. Suzacu waits for me at the manner since I told him to stay home. Not having him here with me gives me time to soak in what truly happened. My white cape blows in the wind.

That day returns to haunt me. The day Euphemia was going to give a piece of land to Japanese hoping to make peace with them. Felling I had to protect the rebellion, knowing that this would only make it worse I had to stop her. I am forced to remember what I did.

…

After me and Euphie were left alone I shut down all the power in the small room. Turning around I pull out my gun and point it at her. She smiles her dark blue eyes full of kindness though I'm the one holding a gun at her. "Your not really going to kill me" she says kindly not even fazed as if she knows that I couldn't pull it."

"No I could never do that," I say moving the cloth covering the lower half of my face. "Your going to shoot me."

She gasps confused. "I could never do that" she protests.

I shake my head and look at her seriously. "If you shoot me the people will rally up against Brutania. I will be a martyr. By making this agreement the whole rebellion will fall. As the leader of the black knights I cant allow this to happen."

She smiles as if this was a game. Placing her hand on mine she lowers my gun. Without a word she throws her arms around me and happily says "you wouldn't make do that would you" she asks looking at me.

All of a sudden a burst of pain flows through me. The pain revolves mostly around my eye. I groan in pain as I fall to the floor. My knees hit the hard ground and with the palm of my hand I put pressure on my eye.

"Lelouch" Euphie cries placing her hands on my back.

"Back off" I scream moving away from her. "I don't need your pity."

"But Lelouch," she protests her long pink her swings back and forth.

"Do you even know what the consequences of this will be?" I ask breathing heavily still clenching my gun. Sweat is dripping down my face as I try to ignore the pain. My eye throbs and my arm starts to grow numb.

"A little bit." She stops and she looks up at me a smile slowly forming on her face. She looks so innocent. "Which is why I gave up my place to the throne."

I stop and am so surprised I drop the gun in my hand. The sound of it as it collides with ground echoes around the room.

"If I were to do this I knew there would be consequences."

I soften a bit as she looks at the ground. "But why?"

Looking up she smiles and said "because of Nunnally. She said all I want is to be able to live happily with my brother. I thought that if I ended this rebellion sooner you and her could be happy and that I could." She stops and a tear falls down her face.

I don't even notice that I'm hugging her. She freezes and then looks up at me. "You are a fool, Euphie" I say gently.

"I know" she says with the same tone I had. "I'm not smart like you or Schneizel."

I step back and laugh saying "you are my hardest foe yet princess Euphemia, but I guess I can tell the black knights to agree to this."

She looks up her eyes beaming with joy and I grin. Then she laughs.

I manage to say something and she laughs then says "hey Lelouch were you really going to make me shoot you."

"Well you would have had to do anything I asked you to do like if I said to kill all the Japanese you would have to do it." It was meant to be a joke but then I realize something. She is screaming tensing up.

With tears falling down her face she says "please don't make me." She's shaking and her voice is full of sadness.

"Euphie what's wrong."

Without another word she says "I need to kill all of the Japanese."

Then I realize that I no longer had any control of my geass. A tear falls down as I realize what I have done. "Euphie I'm sorry," I whisper knowing its pointless to tell her. She won't know what I'm saying. Because of me she was now a murderer. Turning I run after her. I never had any athletic ability but the adrenaline makes me seem like I am invincible. Our steps echo down the hall. "Euphie stop this" I cry. Ignoring me she keeps going. Pushing myself I go faster. Stretching out my hand I feel the collar of her shirt brush against me as my hand hovers above it. Right as I am about to clasps my fingers around it my shoe slips and I trip.

Everything around me slows. I notice her white dress shift as she continues down the hall like nothing happened. Her pink hair bouncing with each step. I try to catch up but I know its hopeless. A tear runs down my face hidden by the mask of Zero.

…

Kneeling down I say what I said back then. "Euphie I'm sorry but I promise I'll make your dream of peace a reality." Standing up I start to walk away but then I turn around looking at the roses I brought her. She was always beautiful. Like a rose. "You were my first love Euphemia" and as I turn around I whisper "and still my only love."


End file.
